INT. PUB – DAY
Davey sits at the bar, a whiskey in hand that is almost empty. He swirls it round while staring into the glass, eyes glazed over. Dooley stands behind the bar, trying to flick peanuts into his mouth. Failing to do so, he starts tossing one into his mouth regularly with an audible Crunch.
The loud Crunch makes Davey winch, with each crunch he becomes visibly more irate.
Dooley
(With a hint of indifference)
Why the long face Davey?
Davey downs the remainder of his drink, ignoring Dooley’s question. He then shakes his class like a bell for a top up. Crunch, Dooley strolls over to Davey, placing both hands on the bar and trying to catch Davey’s eye.
Dooley
(More sincere this time)
You still thinking about that shithouse car of yours?
Davey shifts his eyes from his empty glass and stares at Dooley.
Davey
Of course I’m still thinking about that car of mine!
And it wasn’t shit, it was a classic, shut your mouth when you’re eating would ya?
The last part is ignored by Dooley who is occupied thinking about Davey’s car. Crunch.
Dooley
(Childlike)
Ah Davey, I don’t want to be bad mouthin your car or anything but an old Porsche, that’s a classic, a brown Fiat Punto isn’t even fit for the scrapyard. Now, I’m not saying your little Fiat was shite, just that Fiat’s in general are pretty shite is all. I’ve never had one, you’re the only fella I know who’s had one really, and it turned out to be pretty shite, so I’m just guessing that they’re all like that really
Davey’s face quivers, the whiskey is finally loosening him up. He straightens as if he is to say something, but decides against. He lets out a sigh.
Davey
(Defeated)
Are ye done mouthin off about my car now Dooely? I came here for c heap drink, not to hear you spout on all day.
Davey lifts up his glass and gives it a little nod.
Dooley
(Offended)
Cheap drink? It mightn’t cost much but its bloody better than the piss they serve in the The Scooner.
Dooley paces over to the bottles of whiskey and grabs one. He rushes back to Davey and slams it down in front of him.
Dooley
You can pour your own, calling my pub cheap. I paid good money for this place. Got it off Joe Riley when he decided to up and move to Glasgow.
Crunch.
Dooley
(A Childlike wonder in his voice, underlined by slight Malice)
What do you think Glasgow is like Davey? Do you think they have cheap drink and shite fiats?
Davey
They probably do knowing the Scots, copying us again. But Dooley…
Very Loud Crunch. This sets Davey over the edge, he shoots up with a slight wobble.
Davey
Would you shut your fucking mouth!
Dooley
Excuse me? You’re coming into my pub, and tellin me to shut my mouth? And why? Just cause I’m slagging your fuckin Fiat? I’m not the one who hit Pad Riley now am I?
This cuts deep, Davey get a grip of the bar and slumps in his chair.
Davey
(Defeated)
Sorry Dooley, your peanut crunching was driving me round the bend.
Simultaneous loud Crunch.
Dooley
I know how to eat food Davey, and I’ll eat it how I want in my pub. To tell you the truth, I’, glad you gave Pad a good whack. Damned fecker deserved it, did you see he spray painted the church there 2 weeks ago? Wrote “To Hell or to Ballygarrett”, Father Boyce near ‘ entered his precious heaven. Don’t know why the little fecker hated us so much. I suppose you didn’t do him any favours with your fiat and all.
Davey
I suppose I didn’t.
Davey glances at a clock and stuffs his shoulder of Jameson into a takeaway bag as he gets off his stool. Dooley’s face softens. He then plunges his hadn back into a bowl of nuts.
Dooley
Be seeing you Davey.
Davey
Hopefully. If they’re nice enough, I should be grand.
Dooley
Don’t be saying that stuff about the Scots copying us and you should be fine.
Davey
Ah I won’t Dooley, you know me sure, I don’t like the drama.
Davey gives a little wave, throws a 50 on the table and strolls out of the pub.
Loud Final Crunch.
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